I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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