Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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