so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
