I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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