Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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