So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
