I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
