So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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