I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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