I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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