Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
