if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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