New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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