I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize