You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
