Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
