If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
