brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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