He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize