Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
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I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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