He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
