Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
