is your mom at the bar?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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