I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.