Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he fucked my hip out of place.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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