i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
