how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
