do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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