I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize