i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
