I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize