You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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