addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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