Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
