I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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