God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
