Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
