Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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