My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just had sex on a roof
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
