vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
