i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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