I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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