I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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