So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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