Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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