4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
