remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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