awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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