I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
