you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
