So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My dick has a subreddit
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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