Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
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Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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