i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
North Korea, Best Korea!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
