what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
