His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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