Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
