i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
