You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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