OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
