so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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