Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
