it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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