i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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