just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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