all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
