Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
