remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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