just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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