I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
