she woke up with a sticky ear
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
