Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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