Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
